The statement that was the shocker of the day. I went to work today feeling sort of down. Like I had a HUGE "L" on my forehead. I had a cruel realization today... before going to work. I have a degree. Yep. As a Paramedic. Do I work on an ambulance? Nope. What a WASTE of time. I mean... at that time it wasn't a waste of time. But here I am... 35 years old -working as a Medical Assistant in an Urgent Care.
I tried a Mantra..."I am so fortunate to be going to work today, I am so fortunate to be going to work today". I repeated it to myself over and over as I drove my 1 mile to my job. But the "I'm going to be 36 and am a Medical Assistant" part just kept getting to me. HUGE "L" still on the forehead. I am also one of the oldest people at my job. Even my BOSS is younger than I am.
So in an effort to GET RID of these headaches, I have decided to make an appt with one of my doctors partners. Dr. T loves holistic medicine. He is an MD and will only offer holistic advice to his patients if they request it. So I'm moonlighting on Dr. K, and going to see Dr. T on Wednesday.
As I am making my appt, Joyce says, "WOW!!! I didn't realize you were THAT old!". And the thing is... she said it nicely. I am willing to bet Joyce is a touch older than I am, and I KNOW she didn't mean it in a cruel way.... however with my mindset that I had before I went to work, her statement went right through me. I was speechless.... She did add that I don't look my age, that she thought I was much younger. I'm holding on to that part of her comment. The only other time I felt speechless was when I was at Farmer Jack one day... I was purchasing a bottle of wine and when I handed the cashier my ID, he says, "We only card if you look under 40".
Yep. 35 year old bandaid applier. Such a novel job. Pardon me while I go feel sorry for myself now and go lick my wounds. ;o)
Hey! Go read your post "30ish had it coming"!!
ReplyDeleteYou are fabulous baby! Don't forget it.
It will be just fine! PALAVROSSAVRVS REX!
ReplyDeleteVal, I know how you are feeling.
ReplyDeleteAt 24, I was working on huge computer projects for one of the biggest consulting firms traveling all over the place making major bucks. I'm going to be 32 next month, and I'm doing nothing even close to my degree, working in the town I swore I would never live in after high school. In between all my job transitions, I went back to school to obtain my teaching certificate and never finished it.
So, what am I trying to say? There are days where I too get in the dumps and think, "what if I would've...."
But then I remind myself, that I hated being gone from home every week, battling airports, lugging a suitcase and laptop and dealing with rude airport workers and delayed flights, not to mention the damage I did to my body during that time period.
Do you want to be a Paramedic or what does being a medical assistant allow you to do that a paramedic wouldn't (better schedule, more time with family, etc).
I bet you are awesome at what you do, you take care of people and have a friendly smile that makes people feel better just being in your presence. Take joy in that chica :-)
Don't be so down on yourself! You are a great mom, a fantastic wife, and you are one of the funniest people I have ever met...ok so we only met very briefly at Mel's shower but that doesn't matter!!! LOL!
ReplyDeleteYou are all too nice. Did you notice I'm a head case?
ReplyDeleteWhen I worked in the ER, I swore that the flu season was going to kill me. I got burned out from dealing with whiney people when there were people in the trauma room having REAL life changing problems going on.
But... I must admit that I LOVED working in the hospital. I loved the structure. I loved knowing exactly what the job consisted of, and what the boundries were. I love that I never once... got in trouble for anything. Because there were no surprises.
I loved that I had so many people to work with, and that every day it was different. I loved that "Beaumont" feeling. Do YOU have a Beaumont doctor? lol. I do... because I LOVE the Beaumont system.
First off, I have NO regrets. I woudln't change a thing about my life. I LOVE my life and every single thing in it. I just wish that my career path would have been different.
BUT... there is a light at the end of the tunnel for me. I am considering going back to school, but not in the traditional manner that you would think. My wheels are turning and I'm considering it.
That is all I will say for now.
Thanks my friends. For letting me sulk for a bit and for pulling me up off the floor. You are all gems.
V
Hey you.
ReplyDeleteLet's meet up for lunch and Christmas shopping next weekend.
I had a similar crisis around my birthday this past year. Didn't even want to celebrate it. Which is very unusual. It also had to do with "I'm 35 and not where I thought I would be".
But then a very good friend, by the name of J Ro gave me very sound advice.
Do not tie goals or expectations to ages. Once I realized that I could still have what I wanted and my age didn't change that it releived a whole lot of angst.
I'm so proud to be your friend. You are a terrific mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend. You made a decision to choose a career that would allow you flexibility while you raised your children. And I know you are proud of your bambinos. ;)
Hi Val, Boy, do I know what you are saying!! So many times I have felt that way (and I have 10 years on you!). But, right now our job is the hardest one, raising kids to be responsible, respectable etc, etc. grown-ups. And if we succeed at that, our sacrifices will be worth it. My brain is always spinning about going back to school also (I hope Fall, 2008). But, thats another story. Enjoy what you are doing for now, because it goes by so quick.
ReplyDelete