Wow. I'm really getting the life sucked out of me here. I have a theory about women and school. I talked to one of our fellow bloggers today and this is what I said, "So a girl graduates high school, then goes on to college. She gets her degree and a great job. Then when she marries and has children, she becomes a stay at home mom. Then when it is time for her to return to the work force, she can't find anything in her field. In fact she finds she isn't qualified for half the jobs out there. Why did she go to college in the first place?"
I feel like such a loser. Literally. I can't find a job to save my life. I have NEVER had a hard time finding a job. I regret leaving my last job but I have theories that go along with the "find a neighbor to tuck your kids in at night" comment. I just couldn't work for people with that type of integrity. I LOVED that job. I took that job to a higher level than any other job before, because my doctor owned it. More than anything I wanted HIS company to be successful. While I had it up on a threshold, I was the company doormat. I just couldn't get past that. I regret that I cared that deeply about that job because it still bothers me.
Now... I am getting more and more depressed as time goes on. I can't find a job. I have even applied to the local coffee house. I drove by there today and there are NO signs of life as they haven't opened yet.
I keep trying to tell myself that it isn't me. It's the economy and the gazillion other people looking for the same jobs that I am. But still. I'm qualified. I can do all types of things. Maybe that is the problem. Even as I am known as "Queen Busta Chops" in this house, I had it thrown right in my face this weekend by a friend. The comment that she thought was so funny, cut me to the core. "You go from thing to thing". At this moment, I do feel wishy washy. I feel like such a loser. When YOU are the stay at home mom, you can't really have a career. Your job is to take care of the house and the kids. When you need to make some extra cash, you do what you can.
I'm debating on removing myself off Facebook. I need to find a job. I need to find something, and I am starting to become a bit paranoid about "what is out there" on me. How do I find it, and how do I remove it?
The good thing about my blog... when I search my name, the blog doesn't show up. So this... will stay.
Times are tough in the Michigan, that is for sure. But there are jobs. It just takes a long long time to find one. You just have to hang in there. Also, you might need to take a break from looking for a week or two - it sounds like you are burning yourself out.
ReplyDeleteAnd, this is going to sound a little hocusy pocusy, but picture yourself in the job you want. Daydream about it, see yourself doing it. It sure can't hurt anything.
Once again I totally agree with Melanie. It's the economy & the loads of job seekers out there. You will find something it's just going to take a little longer.
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT a loser. Don't ever think that again. You have done a fantastic job with your kids thus far & should be very proud of that. Money is a renewable resource but time is not. You were there for your kids when they needed you most to help mold them into good citizens.
Noone can see your stuff on Facebook unless you add them as a friend right? Why would that prohibit you from finding a job?
Take a deep breath and have faith. What you seek is out there.
Couldn't agree more with the angels above. I hear ya on the wishy-washy comment though. I had something similar said to me this weekend, but by my nephew. Yah, talk about a blow to my self esteem. That comment will haunt me for awhile.
ReplyDeleteHowever, you will find something. I will find something. We will both find what it is that we are meant to do while maintaining a level of integrity and respect for ourselves. If it makes you feel any better, everyone I talk who is looking for a job is going through the same thing. It just takes time.
Keep the faith sista! We're here for you and in the meantime, I would highly recommend removing yourself from facebook (ha, ha, just kidding!)